


The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell

by pseudofoucault333



Series: Fei writes for Tumblr [35]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Confident Stiles, Derek Hale & Scott McCall Friendship, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, FBI Agent Stiles Stilinski, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Derek, M/M, Malia Tate is a Hale, Mentioned Scott McCall, Minor Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero, Minor Original Character(s), Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pack Bonding, Pack Dad Derek Hale, Pack Feels, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 06, Snow, Surrogate Alpha Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 23:45:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13134684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: Derek is given more than enough time after the end of Season 6 to think about what he really wants out of his life while Stiles and most of those in the pack continue their lives’ path. But what happens when he realises just how central Stiles is to those wants?





	The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wiskix](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=wiskix).



**Title:** The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell.  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairing:** Stiles/Derek  
**POV:** 3rd  
**Summary:** Derek is given more than enough time after the end of Season 6 to think about what he really wants out of his life while Stiles and most of those in the pack continue their lives’ path. But what happens when he realises just how central Stiles is to those wants?  
**Disclaimer:** The whole concept of Teen Wolf © the satan that is Jeff Davis, don’t sue because the contents of my bank account is only worth next to nothing in US$. Also and I can't stress this enough **I don't give permission for this or any other of my stuff to be reposted on Goodreads, Wattpad or ANYWHERE ELSE**. If I find out it is I'll be pissed and will get rid of everything I wrote on here. I'm not even kidding. Plot mostly based on fiction…i.e not real….but a girl can wish <3 title © Imagine Dragons.  
**Author Notes:** currently unbeta'd Written for the Eternal sterek Secret Santa. Hope this was the right balance for your prompt and that you love it :) I think everyone needed a more Sterek ending to the show. Kudos = pwp and cookies :D

It had been several months since Derek had last set eyes in Stiles. Since they had been back in Beacon hills after helping clear Derek’s name for something he didn’t do. Since they’d helped the new junior pack members to get established as Scott was hell bent on leaving the town to study and be an actual normal teenager instead of an alpha with the world on his shoulders. 

They’d shared a few laughs and caught up on the way back to their pack land but once there it seemed like Stiles’ priorities had changed to helping Scott, like always, leaving Derek tagging along when they needed him and falling back when it was clear they didn’t. But after all was said and done, the pack members that he still thought of as innocent teenagers had dispersed to their various universities and Stiles back at the FBI academy. It left Derek with no clue what to do with himself. He’d always had something to fixate on before, whether it was avenging Laura or the Hale Pack’s murders, dealing with Peter like always or doing everything with his remaining connections as the supposed Hale Alpha to help Scott, it had kept things interesting.

But now there was nothing to keep him in Beacon Hills as there had been nothing to make him stay when he’d left in the first place. Cora was happily resettled with her pack in Argentina, making all the right moves and saying all the right words to easily be the head beta when the time came. Isaac was in France with Argent trying to make connections with the local pack in Bordeaux to help him have some sense of purpose. Derek had spoken to his only remaining cub a couple of times, never even mentioning Isaac returning but it seemed clear every time that Isaac would never be able to come back. The memory of what happened to not just Allison but Erica and Boyd seemed to make him want to keep his distance. He didn’t mention that the rest of the pack had split up or that Scott was always none too subtly hinting about asking for Isaac to join him in Washington because he knew it would make no difference. Other than Derek, Isaac had completely severed his ties with the McCall Pack and that was probably for the best.

Peter hadn’t been seen for some time either, though Derek wasn’t sure if that was because he was hunting down Kate now that Argent seemed to have left it to the Calaveras or he’d just wanted to move somewhere else. And though Malia remained it was more with a kind of reluctance, like Beacon Hills was all she knew and the big wide world outside the valley was too overwhelming for her to consider exploring just yet. Though to be fair she had been roaming the preserve as a Coyote for eight years, so it was more a sense of comfort than anything else.

But there was the new mini pack to keep an eye on, something that Scott had made him promise to do before he went north. It was something Derek was reluctant to do because he hadn’t exactly been much of a help to Scott in his first few years, that had been all Stiles and Scott’s own sense of determination. It was something he mentioned to Stiles while the other had hung around a bit longer before making his way back to Virginia to pick up his studying with the FBI.

“What do you mean you weren’t much help? Derek, you looked out for us and were there when we needed your support. You probably put up with more crap because of us than you would have done if you’d just stayed in the shell of your house. It makes you the perfect one to watch out for them.” Stiles said, the two walking through the familiar pathways in the preserve, more out of habit than anything else.

“I’m not so sure. I mean let’s face it, in the beginning I was an ass when Scott refused to join my mini pack but in the long term it was probably for the best. Besides, look what happened to Erica and Boyd because of me. I just don’t know if I can put myself in that kind of situation again,” Derek sighed, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket as he followed Stiles over a few parts of the path where rocks were embedded in the soil.

“What happened to them wasn’t your fault, how many times do we need to go over this? Think of it this way Derek, who else can we honestly trust to keep Liam and Mason out of trouble? Who else can call either me or Scott if something is happening and they are too stubborn to do it themselves? No-one. I mean Malia could do it sure, but even now her social skills are rusty. We trust and want you to do it for a reason.” Stiles said, turning around and resting a hand on Derek’s arm.

“But staying here, it’s going to be no less painful than it was the first time Stiles. It was the reason I left in the first place remember? I just needed some space away from here and maybe it would be better for me to just go back to New York and get on with the non-supernatural part of my life.” Derek said, looking around them at the woods to avoid how his heart leapt in his chest and his wolf prowled at the closeness between them.

“But being a wolf is only part of who you are Derek, not _just_ who you are.. Maybe give it some thought and if you honestly feel like you can’t handle it then fine, I’ll try and talk Malia into it.” Stiles said, with a smile that made Derek want to just ignore the fact he was going to be in Virginia for the next seventeen weeks. 

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. Come on, I know you haven’t finished repacking for your trip back to Virginia.” Derek said, shoving Stiles in the right direction back towards where they’d parked, getting a yammer of objection from the other as he nearly fell over.

It had been hard to be there to say goodbye to Stiles when previously he’d already gone and had no knowledge of where the teenager was. It seemed to tug at his control over his wolf more and more, wanting him to just stay and be a sheriff like his Dad instead of considering the big league. But at the same time, he knew that Stiles would make a great FBI Agent, that it was what everything they had gone through had been building up to.

But there was also the fact that if he asked him to stay, Stiles would ask why and that wasn’t something that Derek felt he would ever be ready to admit at the time. After having to watch Stiles with Malia and in his short-lived thing with Lydia it had gradually become clear how he really felt about the younger and knew no-one, least of all Stiles, would let him live it down if he found out. 

No, it was going to hurt but it would be easier to let him go and do what he obviously dreamed of doing. 

They’d hugged on the sidewalk outside the Sheriff’s house, after the Sheriff had said his own goodbyes again, and Derek hadn’t been able to stop himself from burying his nose in Stiles’ neck and squeezing him tightly.

“Don’t look so down Sourwolf, you’d haven’t seen the last of me. Trust me.” Stiles grinned, giving him one last squeeze before pulling back and getting into his car.

It left Derek standing there, watching him drive away and trying to figure out what he was going to do with himself right now.

Despite his better judgement he did let Stiles’ words about him being the best possible person to guardian the new generation of Pack members persuade him. He’d texted Scott while sitting alone in his loft after skyping with Cora who’d been trying to persuade him to join her pack in Argentina. Scott had been thrilled and said he’d pass Derek’s number to all the junior members in case he was needed but that left Derek wondering what he was going to do in the meantime. There was only so many times he could walk through the woods and keep an eye on the Nemeton before he’d get bored.

So, he settled for doing small things to break up the time, like correspondence courses to help him finish his degree that he’d been part way through when Laura disappeared, sorting through and translating some more tricky parts of the bestiary that Stiles had been nagging him to do for years and sorting through the Hale Vaults which he’d been meaning to do since after the fire but always put off.

Thankfully all those things and the odd bit of contact from Stiles, Cora and Isaac seemed to keep him in a relatively relaxed state of mind. His inner wolf was a little less stressed than he would have expected it to be, but that didn’t mean he was complacent. He still kept an eye on the comings and goings of the supernatural in the town which was almost like second nature to him by now. 

The Junior pack members had called him a few times, but mostly for help with omega wolves that were passing through and the odd other creature that they’d never heard of but Derek had knowledge of. Mason, being the junior Stiles that he’d always known he would be, was the one contacting him the most in a way that he’d wished Stiles had done when a teenager instead of being headstrong and stubborn. It made Derek feel useful again on top of the full moons when he’d herd the young ones through the woods when they’d turned into their wolf forms to keep them out of trouble. Normally it would be the Alpha looking out for them, but they seemed to look to him as their substitute while Scott was away and just followed his lead.

A couple of months passed with things settling into a rhythm that Derek always found soothing, though his thoughts of Stiles continued to linger. Of how grown up the teenager he’d first seen with a buzz cut engulfed in plaid, graphic t-shirts and hoodies was old enough and wise enough that they understood each other. How he’d grown into the features that had looked ridiculous when he was younger making him look like the man he truly was. How every weekend or so when Stiles skyped him he’d find himself waiting in anticipation, feeling like a ridiculous high school kid with a crush all over again.

It seemed to be obvious to the junior pack as they walked through the woods covered in snow giving it an ethereal kind of air, all asking him about when Stiles and Scott were back in town. Though the way they mentioned Stiles while giving each other the side eye made him sigh softly to himself, so a puff of mist left his lips.

“Scott’s coming back the weekend before Christmas, he’ll probably expect a pack meeting for updates and whatever, though I have told Stiles practically everything that’s happened so don’t be surprised if he mentions some things.” Derek said, hands pushed in the pockets of his jacket against the cold as his booted feet crunched through the snowy path.

“And Stiles?” Hayden asked from where she was huddled up to Liam.

“I’m not really sure. He did say he’d try and come back before Christmas, but he wants to try and finish his studies for the month before coming back. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” Derek said, trying to ignore how they all exchanged glances.

“So, are you actually going to ask him out this time or you just going to continue to pine after him like a pathetic school girl?” Liam asked, taking a glance over his shoulder as Mason muttered something like a curse as he nearly fell over something hidden in the snow.

“I’m not pining for Stiles.” Derek objected, even though his heart jumped in his chest at the lie and from the way the wolves in the group raised their eyebrows they had obviously heard it as clear as a bell.

“But you like him, so why not?” Hayden asked, being gentler than her rather blunt boyfriend.

“Because I know he’s already taken.” Derek said, kicking some snow out in front of him to avoid looking at the group.

It was true that as the weeks had passed he had tried to psyche himself up to finally ask Stiles out, that he was just being an idiot by putting off something that could easily be reciprocated if their previous history was anything to go by. But that changed when he woke one morning to pictures on Stiles’ social media of him with some girl he’d been yammering about from one of his classes, the two of them looking very cosy and kissing in a way that felt like someone had stabbed a knife in Derek’s soul.

He’d tried to kid himself that it meant nothing, calling Stiles on Skype for once instead of waiting for the other to do so. Only for the call to be answered by a shirtless Stiles laid in bed and a bare pair of female legs behind him pulling on a pair of jeans. Derek didn’t even need to see their face to know it was the same one from the pictures and immediately his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach as Stiles filled Derek’s silence with conversation, like it was normal for him to answer a call with a girlfriend getting dressed and pressing goodbye kisses to his neck.

Derek hadn’t been able to contribute to the conversation, just forcing smiles and nodding before making up an excuse to go that had Stiles frowning. Still there hadn’t been any relief after hanging up and Stiles had been texting him to check in with him for the days since. But there was nothing to say, or at least that was what Derek’s inner heart-broken wolf seemed to think as it mourned the loss of something more, bitterly.

“You mean the picture of him with that girl? It was probably nothing! I mean he’s a teenage boy he’s allowed to have friends.” Malia quipped from behind him, she seemed to make it her business to sneak up on him at the worst possible moment. Cousin or not, Derek wanted to slam her into a wall.

“They aren’t _just_ friends Malia, they’re fucking.” Derek said bluntly which caused the younger members to murmur in disbelief amongst themselves.

“So? Me and him fucked too in the beginning and it meant nothing. Same with me and Scott. It’s convenient nothing more.” Malia said with a shrug.

“Wow that’s reassuring.” Derek sighed, shaking his head.

“Come on Derek, you aren’t exactly whiter than white. I mean you’ve screwed how many hunters/mercenaries and Darachs for the hell of it? He’s just enjoying his freedom.” Malia said rolling her eyes.

“Well maybe I wish he was enjoying with me ok? Is that so hard to believe? But no, I’m done. I can’t handle the distance enough as it is, so I refuse to let myself be dragged down with what ifs about something that will never happen while he’s fucking whoever.” Derek said, a sense of finality in his tone.

“Derek, don’t give up.” Hayden said, resting a hand on his shoulder that he brushed off before skulking ahead of the rest, tired of the topic of conversation.

Scott and Lydia came back to town not long after Derek had been expecting them, the pair wanting to wait till Stiles came back before holding a pack meeting which Derek was dreading. He still hadn’t spoken to Stiles directly or indirectly since their last skype call, maintaining when anyone brought it up it was for the best. He’d had his heart trounced so many times by people he thought he could trust that he didn’t have the energy to deal with the rejection of Stiles saying no or rambling on and on about what’s her name as an explanation.

But soon it was unavoidable as Stiles came to town on the twentieth, and immediately appeared at Derek’s loft. Or at least he tried to as Derek had long since changed the locks and was sat on his bed with his gaze on the bestiary, ignoring the sounds of banging and his phone ringing with the ridiculous tune that Stiles had picked for himself. 

The younger had soon left, leaving Derek with his chin on his knees staring at Stiles’ work and screwing his eyes closed when Scott’s ringtone started playing. Of course, when Derek wouldn’t respond Stiles would go to Scott to get some answers. Not that the Alpha knew about what had happened unless some of the younger pack members had said something, but either way he didn’t really feel like speaking to Scott either.

The phone soon stopped ringing, replaced with a text of the time and place for the pack meeting and that was that.

XO

The night of the twenty fourth found Derek reluctantly making his way to the McCall House hold, Melissa hugging Derek like she hadn’t seen him much longer than she had. From the sounds of the Sherriff’s voice in the kitchen the Stilinskis were both there and Derek tried to restrain the urge to run so he didn’t have to see Stiles even though he knew it was ridiculous.

He let Melissa herd him to the lounge where the rest of the pack were sat in various spots around the room chatting and catching up, Scott mostly talking with Liam whose hand was entangled with Hayden’s on the couch arm between them. But as though smelling Derek’s scent, Scott excused himself and jerked his head at Derek to follow his lead which he did reluctantly.

They ended up in Scott’s old bedroom with the door closed and Scott sat on his bed as he looked up at Derek hovering by the door.

“The junior pack’s been telling me what a good job you’ve been doing.” Scott said, as Derek offered him a weak attempt at smile. “But they’ve also been telling me how concerned they are about you.”

“Concerned? Why?” Derek frowned.

“Something to do with Stiles? They say you’ve become a bit of a recluse recently and they thought you might want to talk it through with me?” Scott said hesitantly. Even though he was the Alpha he still knew better than to push Derek’s buttons, especially when Stiles was involved.

“There’s nothing to say. They just seem to think I should have a more active love life and that Stiles should be part of it that’s all. But honestly that isn’t going to happen so, instead of getting nagged at I thought I’d steer clear.” Derek shrugged.

“What makes you think it isn’t going to happen? Because that’s something Stiles was mentioning when he came over before, you’ve been avoiding him which isn’t like you. Even when you had a rift with the rest of the pack you’d still speak to Stiles so I’m at a bit of loss.” Scott frowned.

“Because he’s with someone else. Because we’ve been playing this game of will we won’t we since you were first turned Scott. Because I’m so tired of being alone and tired of the waiting for something that won’t happen. I was actually going to make the first move until I saw him with someone but it’s just not worth it if my heart and feelings are just going to be crushed all over again.” Derek sighed pacing the length of the room, feeling like he wanted to tear his own skin off from sheer aggravation.

“Stiles is seeing someone?” Scott asked, sounding a little surprised.

“I’m surprised you didn’t see the pictures, because I sure saw a hell of a lot more of than that the next morning.” Derek said as Scott groaned.

“You’re talking about Siobhan aren’t you? He told me you called him the morning after they hooked up, that you seemed less talkative than usual and couldn’t look him in the eye. It all makes sense now. You do want him, deny it all you like to the others, but I know you Derek. You want him as much as he had wanted you since the moment he set eyes on you.” Scott said.

“I don’t believe that in the slightest.” Derek said shaking his head.

“Well the only way you’ll know the truth is to speak to _him,_ Derek. You can’t keep avoiding him over something that might not even be true. So speak to him before the night is out or I won’t be able to stop the others from playing matchmaker.” Scott said, pushing himself off the bed and walking towards the door.

“I don’t know what good it’ll do, but I suppose I don’t have anything more to lose do I?” Derek asked watching Scott open the door and look at him with a grin.

“Nothing to lose but everything to gain. Trust me, you won’t regret it.” Scott grinned, letting out a whistle to get the others’ attention as he made his way back down stairs leaving Derek to reluctantly follow.

Xo

The pack meeting was mostly filed with updates on the whos, what’s and wheres like always. Of Stiles coming up with things to research in his spare time to add to the bestiary and Lydia things to look up from the few books Argent had left her before he moved to France. Then it was mostly a free for all, Melissa putting out food and the sheriff pulling out beers for those old enough to drink to toast to Christmas. But mostly Derek stayed in the corner thinking through what Scott had said, but the smell of too many emotions and feelings in the air made him take a breather in the back yard.

He stood on the porch fidgeting with the barely touched beer when he heard footsteps behind him and the sound of Stiles’ heart ricocheting in his chest like it did every time he set eyes on Derek. Something that had become such a comfort but now Derek wasn’t as sure as he used to be about the meaning behind it.

“Derek, can we talk?” Stiles asked, as he sat on the edge of the porch and looked up at Derek to join him which he did hesitantly, making sure to keep some space between them.

“Sure, let’s talk.” Derek said simply, his gaze on his beer bottle instead of the man beside him.

“Are we ok? I mean we haven’t spoken in a while and the others kept telling me that I should. It’s like you’ve closed yourself off from people all over again which isn’t good for you.” Stiles said, his gaze on Derek’s profile.

“I can’t get past seeing you with that girl Stiles. One-night stand, booty call…. whatever you want to call her, it’s been hard for me to adjust to. And I know I don’t have any excuse to feel that way, because we’re just friends but…it’s how I feel.” Derek said, brushing patterns in the condensation on his bottle.

“This is about Siobhan? She was lonely, I was lonely, we’d spoke a bit and drunk a lot and it felt good to be with someone. But if you think it means we’re this big couple now then you’re wrong. She knew how I felt about you and I knew how much she imagined I was her ex, it was a comfort thing that’s all.” Stiles said, edging a bit closer into Derek’s personal space.

“What do you mean how you feel about me?” Derek asked, finally looking up and meeting Stiles’ gaze watching that smile he loved blossom over the other’s face.

“I honestly can’t believe how oblivious you’ve been over the past few years Derek. From the moment we met in the middle of the woods and you told me and Scott to get off your property I fell hook line and sinker. I wanted to date you, to kiss you and fuck you…. god the last one was like the fantasy I got off to every night through puberty. But there was Jennifer and Braeden and it became impossible to say anything, when you kept rebuking every time I wanted to get closer to you. So, I gave up…slept with Malia and Lydia and it felt easy but it didn’t feel right.” Stiles said tilting his head.

“So Siobhan…?” Derek asked tentatively.

“Easy but not right. I’ve wanted you the whole time Derek. I’ve just been waiting for the right chance…and right now seems like the perfect one.” Stiles said, edging closer and gazing a hand against Derek’s cheek.

“The right chance to what Stiles? To play about with my feelings before you go back to Virginia to finish your studies, before moving god knows where to an office that means I’ll never get to see you again? Because honestly if that’s what you think then I was right about not doing anything about it in the first….” Derek’s rambling swiftly became silenced at the feel of Stiles’ mouth crashing against his own, his tongue teasing his lips apart and pulling a low groan from the back of Derek’s throat.

He’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel right; if it didn’t calm his restless wolf and make him immediately begin to think of what ifs; of all the kisses and experiences he wanted to share with the other. With the boy who he’d found himself tethered to emotionally and sometimes physically from the first time that they met. But every inch of his body recognised that Stiles was anything but a boy anymore and it made it harder than it should have for him to pull away.

“Stiles…. what are you doing?” Derek asked, hoarsely, watching the look of uncertainty cross the younger’s face even as his twitching fingertips continued to graze Derek’s jawline with that grounding touch.

“I would have thought that was obvious oh sour one. I was kissing you…like I’ve been dreaming of doing every night of my life since I met you. Something that was so much better than I expected it to be.” Stiles said, tilting his head so his amber gaze met Derek’s unsure green.

“But what does it mean in the long run? Is it just some random kiss for the hell of it since I’m here or…?” Derek asked, watching Stiles take his beer from his hand and set it aside before sliding into his lap.

“I don’t know how much more obvious I can be Derek. I want you, have wanted you since I was a nerdy kid with ADHD and a big mouth and that hasn’t gone away no matter who I’ve been with. So this isn’t some random out of the blue kiss spurred by alcohol that I haven’t touched, this is me…helping you turn your brain off enough to simply answer a few questions I’m about to ask you.” Stiles said, looking up at Derek adoringly but with an edge of sarcasm that seemed to be Stiles’ default setting.

“What questions?” Derek asked, biting his bottom lip like he had some inkling about what it was but didn’t want to get too carried away.

“Would you go out with me? Would you be my everything and more? Would you be my boyfriend and live with me in San Fran when I get transferred to the Field office there? Do you want me the way I desperately want you?” Stiles asked, his body jerking upright at the feel of Derek’s coarse fingertips brushing under the back of his shirt and along the sensitive skin on the small of his back.

Derek swallowed as he met Stiles’ gaze, it felt too much like a dream come true with the possibility of being a cruel joke that he honestly wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive if that ended up being true. But at the way Stiles' gaze rested on his lips, how his fingers traced the side of his neck and under his Henley to brush against his bare chest made it clear that this was real. This was everything he’d ever wanted waiting right in front of him. 

“Yes to all of the above.” Derek croaked, watching Stiles’ face light up in an even brighter blinding smile as he shifted forward in Derek’s lap until their lips met again and Derek’s hands clung to Stiles’ body just wanting to keep him close.

And as they continued to kiss on the porch, celebrating their future and everything they had always dreamed of, it made it easy for them to forget they were outside and ignore the slowly falling snow fluttering around them.

Fin.


End file.
